More practical superpowers

If you could have a superhero power what would it be?

This question is the signature among my "Tom Questions", I ask this to vitually every person I meet, just to see what their answer would be and why. (Mine: The Force - run really fast, jump really high, levitate things (read: skirts and untucked blouses) with my thoughts, the Jedi mind trick would be awesome, force choke would be very usable, (and if it came with a lightsaber, I can't think of a situation that would be less awesome for having one at the ready.). Generally, I find that the top five are (in order): flight, x-ray vision (pervs), invisibility (rapist pervs), super-duper strength, and The Force.

I was thinking of this recently, what about powers that aren't standard must still quite useful. So I've thought of a list of superpowers that would be fun to have (complete with application), and in some cases what I'd rather have them instead of...

Come, join my insanity!

WHAT: The ability to telepathically make people REALLY REALLY REALLY have to urgently go to the bathroom (immediately, now!).
WHY: Hilarity! And swinging some odds to your favor!
USE: Well, let's say I'm watching a presidential debate, and I don't like a particular candidate... next thing you know their tense, sweating, making faces, and fighting urges (bonus for grunting).
USE-2: Or my personal fave would be right as Ben Roethlisberger drops back to pass for the Steelers when they play the Bengals. Imaging him getting the ball, tensing up, and then getting crushed on a tackle and shitting his pants. Downside? Not seeing one.
OTHER USES: Get the best man's speech to end early at a wedding reception. Get someone out of your office. Annoy the annoying guy at work while he's being annoying. Improve your view at a baseball game. Get out of speeding tickets.
ALTERNATIVE: The ability to telepathically make others fart.
WHY I DIDN'T LIKE IT: Funny. But not pratical enough for decent use.


WHAT: The ability to grow facial hair at will. (Though someone would proffer that I already have this power)
WHY: No committing, easily replaceble, change of pace.
USE: Any costume that would be made better by have a Fu, 'stache, porn-stache, goatee, soul patch, crazy eyebrows, a beard, or muttin-chops. Zero waiting time for facial hair eliminating that awkward is-he-growing-it-or-did-he-lose-his-razor phase.
ALTERNATIVE: The ability to grow body hair at will.
WHY I DIDN'T LIKE IT: Yes, you'd be warmer in the winter (kinda like a bear), but the clipping, shaving or waxing that might have to happen as a result.

WHAT: The ability to see if someone is lying.
WHY: Great buddy power the have with it: hair turns blue, nose grows, voice gets like Stewie's on Family Guy when he ribs Brian about that novel he's been working on. Practical!
USE: Buying a car. Being an HR Manager. At the very least it would be able to help me figure out what's really going on with people instead what they just want to tell me.
ALTERNATIVE: The ability to telepathically make someone feel really hungover.
WHY I DIDN'T LIKE IT: I've been really hung over, it isn't pretty,and at times not something I'd want others to experience.

WHAT: The ability to switch my energy level with somebody else's
WHY: Shut down the peppy person at the office when you're dragging ass. Get your kid to take a nap.
USE: You know her, you hate her. She's that girl at work that's always in a good mood, and always super-energetic. She's the one who starts the applause any time the boss finishes a speech. 90% of the time, she's got a name ends with an "E" sound (Sheri, Tracy, Carrie, Kathy, Shelly, Katie). She seems to have had about 10 Red Bulls before work started that day. And here you are with "A case of the Mondays", or just "A case of this job blows". And you have a project that needs done, and you're just exhausted from sleeping all weekend. Now, just clap you hands! Send "E" girl back to her desk for more Red Bull, and start getting productive.
USE-2: Any parent has been there. You're exhausted, and your kid won't take a nap. Well, relief is just this one superpower away. Clap you hands and he's sawing logs while you're doing anything else.
ALTERNATIVE: The ability to pee gasoline
WHY I DIDN'T LIKE IT: While this sounds great at first, though I haven't measured, I'm pretty sure I'll have to pee into my car about 20-40 times in order to full up my car. That just sounds like a lot of wasted time. Plus, I don't need wierdos trying to syphen my wang.