Settle It In the Ring

The Presidential Debates have hit the point in the campaign where the speeches have become background noise to the general population. The process of elected our President is crucial to the future course of you country and this individual will establish the trajectory for our common good. I have a solution to this problem of stale debates and endless primary stops across the nation.

Allow the celebrities that endorse the candidates take an active role in the process and hem to represent them in the WWF sponsored Steel Cage match. This event will be structured as a tag team battle royal cage match, using standard cage match rules. The first contestant to have their feet hit the floor and stand with their candidate will the Debate Winner and receive 50 delegates.

Three teams will be created based on viability and aligned by ideology:

The Crazy Christians Team (Huckabee)- Rick Flair and Chuck Norris- Escorted by Pat “Mouth of the Lord” Robertson

Kill ‘em All (McCain)- Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sly Stallone—Escorted by Joe “The Brain” Lieberman

Whimpy Liberals Team (Obama/Clinton)- Hulk Hogan and 50 Cent—Escorted by Oprah (in a replica Miss Elisabeth gown).

Recap of the event:

• Vegas set the pre-fight odds to win match: CC- 4:1, WLG&A 5:2, WL 3:1
• Best Prefight Interview Line: Team Crazy Christians- “Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.—WOOOOOOOO!” while talking to Keith Oberman and Rowdy Roddy in the Piper's Pit.
• Best Ring Team Attire Outfit: Arnold dressed from Predator and Sly from Rambo
• Best Entrance Song: Hogan and 50 with their Freestyle Rap “Brother”
• Match Announcers- Tim Russert and Jesse Ventura- each wearing a bowa
• Special Guest Referee- Shaq (no political interest—just keeping the peace “Big Bossman Style”
• Key Ring Match Ups- Roid Rage in Smallville- Sly vs. 50 Cent in the battle of 5’5” and under crowd. This fight was escalated with Sly try to say “caucus” and 50 thought he said “Craker Ass”—no one calls 50 Craker Ass.
• Best outside the Ring Action- Anne Coultre ran to the ring during the match to assist the Crazy Christians, but Oprah snatched her ass to the ground and beat her over the head with a copy of the "Secret".

Winners- Team Crazy Christians- Chuck Norris knocks down an entire section of the cage with a roundhouse kick and joins Mike Huckabee with Mean Gene Okerlund for the post fight interview "Blah, Blah, There is no science, Blah, Blah".

What can we all learn from the world of Professional Wrestling? You can't take Huckabee too lightly, no matter what size the crackpot that he has supporting him.