Super Bowl Thoughts (non-game related)

I'm going to post a three-part series on the Super Bowl, or SuperBowl related stuff. The first is the non-game related stuff.

* At some point, Gen X or Gen Y will be in charge of music selection for the Super Bowl. And until that day, I'll bitch. Just because Justin Timberlake whipped out Janet Jackson's boob to the world, doesn't mean that Tom Petty is a reasonable substitution for a halftime show (neither is Aerosmith, nor The Stones, nor Paul McCartney). Get Foo Fighters on stage. Take a shot with All-American Rejects. Get someone who's last major album was made after 1995. I'm becoming extremely afraid that Smokey Robinson or Charlie Daniels or a kazoo choir is going to be the halftime act next year. In fact, I'm going to stop writing now just in case somebody starts thinking that these are good ideas.

* A Super Bowl ad is $2.7 million for 30 seconds. You'd have to be a gutsy politico in order to drop that kind of green for a spot. I doubt that this phenomenon would happen, but it is not beyond the realm of possibility. You would have a very captive audience. But for some reason, it's taboo to do.

* Fine! I'll be the one that says it... throwing a Super Bowl party is not that hard. Under estimate the amount of beer you'll need (it is a workday after all). Have reinforcement food that you break out at half time and after the third quarter (mainly of the dessert variety).

But, whatever you do, do not serve any of the following party food that nobody eats:

1) A veggie tray with anything beyond carrots and broccoli (people eat the carrots and broccoli and leave you wondering what you're going to do with all of the celery, cauliflower, and tomatoes that nobody ate).

2) Anything involving fish. Well, except if you expect that one guy at the party who takes the shrimp cocktail tray, sits down and mows through it himself. But then again, that one guy probably bring the tray for himself anyway.

3) The pepperoni and cheese tray. Nothing reeks more of "I don't give a shit about this party" than someone showing up with the meats and cheeses tray. Even when it IS left as the only foodstuff left at the party, someone's ordering pizza. And even if people are eating it, there is still going to be that "cheese sweat" stuff after a few hours. And then it's off to see if the dog will eat it.

4) Anything involving raisins. Any batch of cookies, muffins, bagels, dried fruit, pancakes, ice cream, candy, or bread that is served with an assortment of flavors; the raisin-laced ones are always the ones left. Every time. Nobody likes raisins. I've checked. They'd much rather have them in their other form, grapes. So bring wine, grape juice, grape jelly, grapes (especially if you can arrange for scantily clad women to feed them to you, Roman style), and grape-flavored Flintstone vitamins!

* The Super Bowl is a very bittersweet game for a diehard NFL fan (NFL fan is identified as someone who can watch almost any decent game on TV regardless or whether or not his/her team is playing). First, the game is only really good about 30% of the time (40% are average, and the other 30% are why the commercials need to be great). Second, it represents the end of football season; which is a sad, sad thing. It is exciting, it is fun to watch the games, and the less there are, the worse it is. And now it is over for three months until the NFL Draft, then three more until training camp opens. Third, The NFL and March Madness are the only sports/sporting events that I can think of that are better earlier than they are later. March Madness is much better on the opening weekend than in is on Final Four weekend. There are more games, more chance for an upset; it is way more fun to watch. The NFL is the same way. The more games, the greater overall interest.

* The ads on TV and radio that reference the Super Bowl as "The Big Game" or "The Game" or "The Great American Football Contest" are almost funny, because the Super Bowl got tired of not making money off of every tiny little business using the Super Bowl as a way to attract business without paying ridiculously huge licensing fees. Which is great! The NCAA followed suit with March Madness. I hate that Kia dealerships have "March Madness", and the Super Bowl lead the charge. Great stuff!

Tomorrow night I'm going to blast on Chris Berman (which originally started as a bullet point and then morphed into its own post).

Friday night will be my breakdown of the Super Bowl.